Fraying nerves

During the day, whenever I think about the fact that I am pregnant, I feel really happy and protective of the baby and pray for it to be strong. But then night comes and with it waves of fear and trepidation and I find myself panicking, wondering if I can really do this. Sometimes it can be quite overwhelming  - and with my husband stuck out in Dubai and me being in rural England, it can be very lonely at times, despite my lovely family around me. Still, I just have to stick it out, and I know deep down that I want this baby to be okay, I desperately want everything to be fine. These first 3 months of pregnancy are always touch and go and I am just constantly praying that the baby will be fine and strong enough to survive. Because I am attached to it, already, in a way, and it would crush me if something happened to it - it really would.

Learning you got a 'bump' in the making...

Finding out you are pregnant is... an indescribable feeling. I guess for some people it can be awful and terrifying and it might seem like it will ruin their life. But for me, it was a moment of huge excitement. I couldn't believe I was actually pregnant. I did two tests, just to make sure, and then I ran and called my husband and my hands and voice were shaking, I was so wound up! I had been secretly wanting a baby for a while, though when it finally arrived it wasn't great timing! My life is going through a period of huge upheaval right now. But I was still overjoyed... and now every day I feel more and more excited about the presence of 'Nugget' as I have nicknamed my baby. I can't wait til my 'bump' gets bigger so I can finally see and feel that I am pregnant. I am only about 5 weeks gone, so I have just under 8 months of pregnancy highs and lows to document as a first time mum-to-be and I hope other blog users or blog readers out there will share my journey with me... cos it's sure to be one heck of a ride.